Super, Scroller, TV, Ticker: Published articles/DNA 5

Article in DNA, Mar8, 07

Super, Scroller, TV, Ticker!

I don’t know about all of you, but with every passing day, I certainly am getting increasingly confused while watching news. I mean, is it not enough for us to get one piece of news at a time? There’s something going on in the main screen, and then there’s something scrolling at the bottom, and sometimes there is even something in between. Now, I come from the old economy, where anything that came as text under a picture was a caption for that picture… in advertising parlance called a “super”. But not any more. The real problem is, that sometimes the super on TV news is a super and sometimes it’s a scroller.

To add to the confusion, some supers/scrollers/tickers are news - Sri Lanka opts to bat. Some are ads: Celebrate Valentine’s with D’Damas. Some are ads for news: Roast Chicken, Orange Cake on NDTV at 3.30pm. Some are news about ads: Deadlines fast approaching for Clio Awards. Some are both ad and news: Rahul Dravid chooses Skyline Constructions homes in Bangalore. Some are confusing: Sachin Tendulkar eating out in Goa - is that news, an ad for Sachn tendulkar or an ad for the hotel in Goa? And then there are some that are totally baffling: Shilpa, my funny Valentine.

Picture this. Main news: Vodafone chief lands in Delhi. Scroller below: Terrorists manipulating stock exchanges. Main news: Vinod Khanna says we will invite Shilpa Shetty to join the BJP. (First of all, you have to grapple with the fact that the BJP wants Shilpa Shetty, that it chooses Vinod Khanna to say so, and that this is making it to national prime time news) Now add to it a scroller that says: Pick the perfect shade of red for your lips. Main news: Has India picked the best men for the World Cup? (Now, that IS a matter of grave concern.) However, we are told at the same time: Nescafe – reach out to the world’s favourite cup.

Now read some more combinations and tell me what to make of them. North Korea ends nuclear programme - Madhuri Dixit steps out. Shilpa Shetty gets work permit in UK - Abortion legalized (in Portugal). Another custodial death in J and K - Roast Chicken, Orange Cake on NDTV at 3.30pm. Sonia flags off train - Trains disrupted in Mumbai.

And the advertisements… let’s not forget the advertisements, because that’s how the news channel is there in the first place. Mumbai trains disrupted. Scroller below: Cadbury winning moment. Bus attack triggers panic- Pan Parag, jab bhi jee kare. Karan and Kareena settle their differences (mind you, this is a half-an-hour programme) - Mak Lubricant makes it possible. Lalu’s in-laws caught without train tickets - Cleartrip.com, make traveling simple. More rain in North India - Garb Nirodhan Goliyaan. Shoaib Akhtar fails dope test - UPES, exciting career opportunities. Cotton County, buy 2 get 4 free - Read the offer document carefully before investing.

And if all these multiple news items and ads were not enough, we also have to answer multiple choice surveys. Students murdered - If it is Dharmendra Hema Malini, sms HT space C. Police still chasing terrorists - If it is Kajol Shah Rukh Khan, sms HT space B. 18 people killed in bomb blasts, LTTE hand suspected - If it is Ash Abhishek, sms HT space D. Two militants killed in gun battle - If it is Amitabh Rekha, sms HT space E. 6 killed, 13 hurt in series of blasts in Algeria - If it is Hrithik Kareena, sms HT space F. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, while the world kills, we have to vote for our favourite Bollywood couple. It’s Valentine’s Day.

If you want this Super-Scroller-TV-Ticker system to stop, SMS PRAYER-STOP-WINDOWS-NEWS to all the people in your phone book. Cycle Brand Agarbathis – everyone has a reason to pray.